Wallabies Player Ratings v Springboks 27/09/26

In three weeks we’ve come from kissing your sister in Argentina to avoiding a wharfie in Perth. Much like Hamlet this was a play in three acts, the only difference we didn’t lose our heads in the end.

Act 1 – the first twenty minutes of absolute tripe from the Wobblies. Suaalii gets up and takes the kickoff chase and lies on the ground saying “mine, mine, mine” and not letting go till Piardi intervenes. Donaldson knocks on a half-hearted attempt at catching a high ball, Jorgensen is penalised for holding on the ground, LSL and Lonergan can’t decide whose ball it is from a kickoff and let it bounce, Lonergan penalised for holding the ball leading to a maul try, Paenga-Amosa knocks on a pass not meant for him, McReight throws a poor pass, Donaldson throws a poor pass then backs it up with another one.

Act 2 – forty-five minutes of why we all watch rugby and why I am not allowed to watch it in my house. The scrum held solid, the lineout without a blemish, the backs looked like they knew what they were doing and the tries came.

Act 3 – The introduction of the Wallaby Wharfie.

Before the game I commented we needed to get out to a big halftime lead and then hold on as tight as possible when the bomb squad came on. That’s not quite how it panned out, we decided to sneak a late try and go in 7 points up, then when the bomb squad all landed at 47mins we upped the ante and ran in a couple more converted tries and Wilson opted for more three pointers. Leaving us 25 points up before the onset of Act 3.

What will become of the farce that was Etzebeth, lumbering around out of breath and replaced illegally at 64min, sent on at 67min, then at 74 minutes he took a kickoff and clutched his head, but had to get up the next phase in support, at 75 minutes he took the ball into contact and then after the ruck lay prone on the ground, to be replaced anew in the 76th minute. I’ll let you decide if that was an injury or just part of the act.

The Rating Scale

So follows my take on the Aussie players, on the unbeatable Underdog 1 – 10 rating system:

• 1: Deadset liability
• 2: Absolute Barry Crocker
• 3: A bit of a dog’s breakfast
• 4: Yeah, nah, not his best
• 5: Punched the clock
• 6: Earned his post-match tinnie
• 7: Gave it a red-hot go
• 8: Absolute ripper
• 9: Played a deadset blinder
• 10: John Eales

Player Ratings

Starting Team

• The Wallabies – 8. There were a couple of real stand out players but this was mainly a real team effort. The South African aerial dominance was not in play as the Wallaby kick chase and receipt was, while not perfect by a long shot, very much improved. It took them 20 minutes to get up to speed against a relentless South African defence but once they worked it out and maintained possession the points came.
• 1 Bell – 8. Constantly made the advantage line. Carried 11 times, beat 3 defenders. Only made 4 tackles, unfortunately missed 2 as well.
• 2 Paenga-Amosa – 7. Made 8 tackles, missed 1 and knocked on once. One lineout throw went too long and was lost.
• 3 Alaalatoa – 6. 3 tackles, 3 runs and penalised once.
• 4 Williams – 9. Stand out showing, 9 tackles, 6 carries, 6 lineout win including one steal and one almost steal that caused a turnover, defused a bok maul to win a scrum.
• 5 Salakaia-Loto – 7. 6 tackles, 6 carries, 1 offload, was in all the hard spots.
• 6 Valetini – 8. 10 carries, 4 defenders beaten, 6 tackles.
• 7 McReight – 8. 6 carries into contact. 9 tackles, 2 missed. Won two ruck penalties.
• 8 Wilson – 8. Would have been 9 but for a yellow card. 11 carries for 31m and a try. Team high 13 tackles no misses 3 of which were dominant. 6 lineout wins.
• 9 Lonergan – 8. Would have been 9 but for a yellow card. Found good long distance with his exit kicks from the 22. And good length for contestable kicks, especially one leading to Ikitau’s second try. Excellent distribution from the ruck base. 7 from 8 goal kicks.
• 10 Donaldson – 7. A shocker start but recovered well, I don’t do half points so rounded 6.5 up . .
• 11 Suaalii – 6. Was well involved on the wing more so than at centre. Really stood out as a 50/50 player in my eyes, took the first kick off but was penalised, chased a Lonergan kick and fortunately knocked it back into Ikitau’s arms for a try, caught 2 of the 6 high kicks he competed for, slapped back one and fumbled one backwards, penalised twice for holding on the ground. Got a harsh call for a yellow at the end that on my review looked like he did everything right, I’d like to hear O’Keeffes review of it.
• 12 Paisami – 5. 11 carries, 7 tackles, 1 miss. Good hard running, but blew the good work with a poor tackle at the end.
• 13 Ikitau – 9. The most involved we have seen from a number 13 this year. It was soon after he was injured that the game turned. 10 carries for 85 meters, 2 linebreaks, an offload and 5 defenders beaten, two tries. He’s a good 12 but our best 13.
• 14 Jorgensen – 9. Scored a try from turnover ball and pace. 13 carries for 106 meters, 4 linebreaks, an offload and 3 defenders beaten. Won 3 of the 5 high kicks he competed for. Penalised once for holding.
• 15 Tom Wrocks – 8. Back to a more jewellery oriented game. 8 runs for 46 meters, 4 defenders beaten, a couple of good kicks from hand for touch and grubber for Jorgensen.

Reserves & Staff

• 16 Pollard – 6. Did the yards while he was on but came up against a better scrum for the last 20.
• 17 Ross – 5. Drew the short straw and came up against a team who had just decided they didn’t want to lose.
• 18 Tupou – 5. 7 carries, 4 tackles, missed 2, penalised twice and was turned over in the 78th minute leading to their last try.
• 19 Shaw & 21 Tizzano – 6. Only got 12 or 13 minutes along side a slowly shrinking team. Well worth their post game beer.
• 20 Hooper – 7. Half an hour of action man.
• 23 Potter – 6. Couple of nice runs. Good defence at the end.
• The Coach – 8. Finally someone thought to try Suaalii on the wing, and gave Wilson the “how much is 3 points worth” talk. Didn’t bring on McDermott when he didn’t need to.
• The Referees – 8. Piardi was consistent throughout, consistently quick to penalise for 30 minutes at the start, consistently going for the pocket at the end. Got most calls right throughout and the ones he missed were only a call away.

The Howl of The Underdog

While the illustrious Mirt has had his say, The Howl of The Underdog represents the true voice of The Underdog crew. We asked you, the readers, to cast your own votes and rate the performances straight from the stands and the couches.

Unsurprisingly, standout performers Len Ikitau and Max Jorgensen topped the fan charts, while the referee… well, let’s just say the fans weren’t quite as generous as Mirt.

Here is the final aggregate of our reader votes for the Wallabies’ clash against the Springboks:

• 1. Angus Bell – 7.76
• 2. Brandon Paenga-Amosa – 7.12
• 3. Allan Alaalatoa – 6.41
• 4. Lukhan Salakaia-Loto – 7.06
• 5. Jeremy Williams – 7.71
• 6. Rob Valetini – 7.59
• 7. Fraser McReight – 7.88
• 8. Harry Wilson – 7.53
• 9. Ryan Lonergan – 7.76
• 10. Ben Donaldson – 6.00
• 11. Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii – 6.82
• 12. Hunter Paisami – 6.00
• 13. Len Ikitau – 8.41
• 14. Max Jorgensen – 8.41
• 15. Tom Wright – 7.63

Reserves & Staff

• 16. Billy Pollard – 5.94
• 17. Aidan Ross – 4.94
• 18. Taniela Tupou – 6.35
• 19. Lachie Shaw – 5.88
• 20. Tom Hooper – 6.69
• 21. Carlo Tizzano – 5.94
• 22. Tate McDermott – 5.73
• 23. Harry Potter – 5.75
• The Coaching Team – 7.88
• The Ref – 4.71